There’s rarely any justification for extremely painful massage, unless it clearly produces a better result than gentler treatment — which is rarely clear!1 It is possible that a few “brutal” deep tissue massages could do the trick where gentler treatment would fail — but there is no way to know this in advance, and massage is expensive stuff. If you’re going to gamble on a treatment, gamble on cheaper and less painful ones.

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Before you and your partner book your appointment, be sure to brush up on your spa etiquette. For many, a couples massage may be your significant other’s first visit to the spa. And while a trip to the spa should be a relaxing experience, if it’s your first spa-going encounter, it can be anything but if you don’t know what to expect. To calm those nerves, note the following spa protocol tips: For many, nudity may very well be the most nerve-wracking aspect of spa-going. Bear in mind, though, that maintaining guest modesty is a key priority for most therapists in the U.S. Male or female therapist? It’s your call. Spas make every effort to accommodate guest wishes in this regard, but it’s recommended to make advance reservations, particularly during peak hours. Speak up (if you wish). Couples can feel free to converse during their massage, or stay silent. It’s entirely your preference. For more on Couples Massage, see our guide.

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